Emotional Unavailability
These dads are either physically and/or emotionally absent in their daughters’ lives. Without a dad to listen to their concerns, fears, hopes, and dreams, these girls can begin to believe a narrative running through their mind that is not true. They end up making decisions based on a lie, leading to an unintended destination. A dad’s ability to listen and recenter his daughter cannot be overestimated.

Over-Criticism
These dads may be perfectionists, have had a critical parent themselves, or worry about what others think based on how they perceive their children. Whatever the reason for their criticism, they need to choose not to be angry when talking with their daughter. A girl picks up on her daddy’s anger and internalizes it, leading to unhealthy pathways like performance, rebellion, escape, or detachment.

Neglecting Interests
These dads put their interests first instead of their daughter’s. Putting her interests before his own does not mean he neglects responsibilities such as being a provider, husband, leader, and dad to other children. It doesn’t mean he cannot have hobbies and interests. It means that he knows her interests and helps her pursue them before he pursues his own.

Inconsistent Discipline
Dads who enforce rules after an event don’t earn their children’s respect and cannot guide them to make better decisions. Punishment does not work. Clear boundaries must be communicated in advance, with outlined consequences. When a boundary is crossed, the consequences must be implemented. Erratic and arbitrary consequences result in unmet expectations. Discipline requires planning, with expectations written out and consistently communicated to children. Significant consequences must follow unmet expectations.

Communication Failures
Dads who fail to communicate consistently and at a heart level with their girls fail to express their love. Some dads are not “talkers,” but asking questions to discover what’s important to her and talking about her interests is crucial. If you have failed in this area, ask for forgiveness and start fresh. You can be a great dad by getting to know her heart.

Discouraging Independence
Dads who don’t allow their daughters to exercise their agency while maintaining appropriate discipline hinder their daughters’ preparation for adulthood. Your daughter needs to know she is her own person with boundaries—physical, emotional, mental, relational, and spiritual—that she must discover and uphold. She needs appropriate autonomy and agency for her age and maturity.

Failing to Apologize
Dads who never admit they are wrong are loathed by their daughters. No dad is without mistakes. A dad who is unwilling to admit when he is wrong will lose his daughter’s trust. Humility is one of the most attractive characteristics of any person, especially a dad to his daughter. When called out by your daughter or wife, admit when you are wrong instead of defending yourself. Ask for forgiveness when you hurt her in anger.

Ignoring Her Health
Dads who are unaware of their daughters’ companions, device usage, media consumption, diet, and activities will find their daughter’s well-being diminished. Many children struggle with depression due to lack of sleep, poor eating habits, insufficient sunlight, lack of exercise, unhealthy stimuli, and excessive negativity through social media and screens. Daughters are not born knowing what is good for them and what is harmful. We have to teach them right from wrong and healthy from unhealthy. Dads have an authority that a daughter will follow when he is loving and guides her through these minefields.

Lack of Preparation
Dads who don’t begin preparing their daughters to leave home from the day they bring them home from the hospital may have daughters who struggle long into adulthood. When daughters leave home, they often fail financially and relationally because they were not properly prepared. Without understanding money, they may end up perpetually broke. Without knowing how to have healthy relationships, they may enter dead-end relationships. A dad can change a family’s legacy by preparing his daughter for life through wisdom, mentorship, and teaching skills like fiscal responsibility.